UNWIND
by creatingmemorieswithyou
Life can be cruel sometimes, or should I say, often. For many reasons, things for me have
turned upside down. Everything seemed so well, in accordance to what I really
wanted. But just in a snapped or in a mistake I unintentionally made, everything
that I worked so hard burst in the thin air to nothing.
Beautiful things were always too good to be true. It felt
like they should’ve not happened after all. How come things don’t come out in
the right place? Why is everything I did appeared more awful that it may seem?
Am I brooding too much? I knew persons who appeared to be so
lucky, so gifted that everything fell in the right place for them without
exerting too much effort. It turned out that I am slowly hating myself for
being so incompetent. Only two things made me still intact in the basis of
normality, God and silence.
For months, it felt like I lost my track, the person who
used to be understanding and patient. Unconsciously, I’m learning to keep
grudges to the people who hurt me. The more they do not treat me well, the more
my wall of pride grew higher and higher. No one wanted to be like this. I
wanted to retain the goodness inside me, the patience and forgiveness I used to
be abundant with.
As I leave, which I thought first for hundreds of times, I pray
that God will give them guidance.
Despite the times they left me broken, I
wanted to thank them for it. I learned to be strong. Abruptly, my eyes opened
to the other side of the world that I’m not used to. And from the day I depart
myself from their clutches, I hope I will find myself again, and learn to trust
and believe to what I can do.
I've been judged, even ignored. Invisible as what I wanted
to call it. But there will come a time that I will find myself again and start
a new life. With me, will always be my dream for my family and my future. I
hope that if that day happens, I’m already a better person, better than with
what I am before.
If that time comes, I will blog again with my progress. No
one might read this article of mine. It doesn't matter, as long as my life will
try to keep its wheels on the right track. I must cheer up. I must move on. In
relation to this article, I linked a blog from The Emotional Life website. I
hope it helps. It is titled “12 Ways toMend a Broken” by Therese Borchard. HAPPY READING!
12 Ways to Mend
a Broken
By
Therese Borchard
Bess Myerson once wrote that “to fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful,” especially if you are the one who
wanted the relationship to last. But to stop loving isn’t an option. Author
Henri Nouwen writes, “When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die,
your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving
deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful.”
But how do we get beyond the pain? Here are 12 techniques I’ve gathered from
experts and from conversations with friends on how they patched up their heart
and tried, ever so gradually, to move on.
1. Go through it, not
around it.
I realize the most
difficult task for a person with a broken heart is to stand still and feel the
crack. But that is exactly what she must do. Because no shortcut is without its
share of obstructions. Here’s a simple fact: You have to grieve in order to
move on. During the 18 months of my severe depression, my therapist repeated
almost every visit: “Go through it. Not around it.” Because if I went around
some of the issues that were tearing me apart inside, then I would bump into
them somewhere down the line, just like being caught in the center of a traffic
circle. By going through the intense pain, I eventually surfaced as a stronger
person ready to tackle problems head on. Soon the pain lost its stronghold over
me.
2. Stand on your own.
One of the most
liberating thoughts I repeat to myself when I’m immersed in grief and sadness
is this: “I don’t need anyone or anything to make me happy.” That job is all my
own, with a little help from God. When I’m experiencing the intense pangs of
grief, it is so difficult to trust that I can be whole without that person in
my life. But I have learned over and over again that I can. I really can. It is
my job to fill the emptiness, and I can do it … creatively, and with the help
of my higher power.